Appencicitis...27 hours of pain!

So, the last week has been quite interesting! Here is my tale of appendicitis from beginning to end.....

Last Wednesday night around 8pm I began feeling an uncomfortable pain in my right side. I can remember the precise time because we were dismissing the kids from kids choir and I just wanted to get home because I did not feel well! The pain was constant and uncomfortable and I thought it was just bloating. I came home, took some pills to try and get some relief and then went to bed hoping that I would just sleep it off. Unfortunately I was up through the night because every move I made the pain was there and it was gradually becoming more intense. The next morning I woke up and called the Dr's office and they were able to get me in right away.

Once the Dr felt my side she became concerned immediately and ordered a CT Scan to be done asap. Around 1pm I showed up at Imaging and was told to drink 2 bottles of this lemony tea stuff so that it would coat my organs and make everything show up well when they did the test. I was starving and had not eaten all day so surprisingly the brown lemony tea juice stuff tasted pretty good! I had to wait an hour and a half to drink the stuff before my test so Rich had the lovely idea of walking around TJ Maxx. Sure...my appendix may rupture but let's go shopping! Hahaha! Actually I didn't mind because I thought it might distract me from the pain. So we walked around waiting for time to go by and it was finally time for the test and I was ready. The pain was gettting more intense.

I've never had a CT Scan before so it was very interesting to go through the process. Drink the juice, lay on the table and listen for the little voice to tell when to breath and when to exhale, simple enough! Just before the test my robust nurse instructed me that he would be injecting another form of dye into my veins that may give me the sensation of a)having a hot flash, b)feeling like I'm sucking on a penny, or c)feeling like I'm peeing my pants. Soooo, great, can't wait to see what that's going to be like! He put the dye into me and what do you know???? I felt all 3 sensations!!! Wierdest thing ever! Totally felt hot all over, wierdest taste in my mouth and oh yes, the lovely sensation that my water had just broke. Thankfully all these went away within a minute.

The test was over and now to wait for the results, all the while, I'M STILL IN PAIN! Finally got the call around 3:45 to go the ER and that the Triage nurse would be waiting for us. Mom and Dad were with the kids so we were able to grab our stuff pretty quickly and head up to the hospital.

We checked in around 4:30 and were put into a room right away. I've never understood how ER's work. Are they on a rotation or some sort of system as far as checking in on patients??? We waited and waited. While waiting we were visited by our wonderful friends/small group leaders and that helped time pass by. They prayed over us and left around 9:00 or so. Rich left shortly thereafter to get his Dad and when he asked to come back to the ER the nurses told him that I was already in surgery! This was a big mistake because I was not in surgery. There was no way I would let them take me off to surgery without seeing Rich first or letting him know! Crazy. I was unaware of all this but had noticed that Rich had been gone for a long time. I finally called him because the orderly came to wheel me up to surgery and Rich wasn't back yet. I called and asked where he was and he asked where I was because he thought I was in surgery. Finally he was able to get to where I was and be with me while getting ready for the surgery.

We met the anesthiologist (sp??) and he was great. I told him that I didn't want to feel like I was going to sleep and he did just that. Of course he did have to inform me of the tube he was going to stick down my throat while I was 'under' and that was information was a bit unnecessary. Liabilities, I know!

So, Rich prayed with me one more time, kissed me goodby and it was time to hit that cold, bright operating room. I was in there for about 3 min and before I knew it they were waking me up and saying that it was all over. 27 hours of pain and it was finally all over!

The whole experience while very common was very surreal to us. Who knew that when I woke up Thursday morning that I would be having surgery that night and spending a night in the hospital. Life is uncertain at times but it definetly keeps things interesting!

We were so blessed by all of our friends and family. From those who prayed and visited us in the hospital to those who kept our kids all night and all day caring for them and making them feel like everything was okay. To our awesome small group! This is what small group is about. Coming to the aid of those in need around us. Thank you for providing meals for us for the past few nights. It has been a welcomed blessing and I can't say enough how appreciative we are.

God is faithful and with us through every situation, no matter how great or small. I tend to be an anxioux person and have dealt with panic attacks in the past. And being in this situation would have for sure put me into pure panic. But I knew who my God was and I knew that He was with me and His perfect peace was me all the way to that operating table when I closed my eyes. No fear, only trust.

I am recovering well and just spending the next few days resting and recovering. I should be back to normal within 2 weeks. God Bless!

One of Those Days

Lately I've been having a few struggles that seem to just be consuming me. At the end of the day I often reflect on how the overall day was and I go to sleep feeling like a complete failure...I'm often comparing myself to those around me and to be honest I am just tired of it! I am who I am and I so want to be comfortable with that! Does anyone else understand??? I may not be this or that but you know what...I have a husband who adores me and loves me more than I could have ever imagined. I have 3 kids, that even though there are days that I think they wish they had a different mom, that love me and whenever I leave to run an errand they act like I was gone for 2 weeks when I walk through the door and run to hug and kiss me. I have parents who even though I've hurt them in the past they have forgiven me and love me unconditionally. I have siblings that I just couldn't live without and enjoy their company. I have a roof over my head, and a house full of laughter and love. Why am I complaining about what I'm not and what I don't have. Who cares! God is for me! He made me and formed me to be what I have become and what I will become.
When I have days like this I'm learning more and more to just pray pray pray. So thankful that when it comes down to it..it's totally up to Him! I don't have to keep carrying around these failures & burdens. So here I am, opening my hands to God and saying take it all and make me the woman that YOU want me to be....not who I think I should be but who you designed me to be.

Date Night

This past Christmas Rich bought us tickets to go see Jim Brickman in concert. We have always enjoyed his music particularly because one of his songs is 'our song' and has special meaning. When Rich and I were dating the song "Valentine" became quite popular and we fell in love with it. On our first dating anniversary Rich had a display of hershey kisses in the shape of a heart on my desk & in the middle was a gift bag with Jim Brickman's CD. Jim's music has such a romantic & soothing feel to it. The way that he plays the piano is just mesmerizing.

Well, Feb 17 finally came and it was time to head out for dinner & then the concert. The ambiance of the concert was very romantic and you felt like you were the only two in the room. Many times I just closed my eyes & took in the sounds of that solo grand piano and the notes being manipulated. Ahhh to have that talent to just sit down and write from the heart and then perform it into a masterpiece. It definetly peaked my desire to learn piano.

As the concert came to a close Jim and his 2 vocalist performed a medley of his top love songs. They ended with 'Valentine' and I just couldn't hold back the tears. Sitting there listening to this beautiful performance holding the hand of the one I love the most in the world was overwhelming. We could both feel the emotion and couldn't help but think back to our wedding day and all the memories we have created since the first time we heard that song.

The day before the concert I was rummaging through the garage and found the box that contained all of our letters and memorabilia from the dating days. As I read through most of the cards and letters we wrote I laughed & cried reflecting on those memories and how far we've come since then. What a treasure to have those memories and records of most of the experiences we shared. It's so easy to forget those early days as we go through the life & get caught up in the everday routines.

I love Rich Black with all my heart and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him....I thank God everyday for allowing me to share this life with my soul mate and love of my life....

Valentine

If there were no words

No way to speak

I would still hear you

If there were no tears

No way to feel inside I'd still feel for you

And even if the sun refuse to shine

Even if romance ran out of rhyme

You would still have my heart Until the end of time

You're all i need

My love, my valentine

All of my life

I have been waiting for

All you give to me

You've opened my eyes

And showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before

In my dreams i couldnt love you more

I will give you my heart

Until the end of time

You're all i need

My love, my valentine

I did it!

All this talk about running has finally come to fruition! On Feb 7, 2010 I arrived at the CSUS campus ready to pin my number on my shirt and complete the task ahead.

We arrived at the campus around 7:45, I was getting nervous every moment that got closer to 9:00. Rich, Ryan & several of Rich's co-workers also participated which made me even more nervous because I knew everyone would complete it before me. It was extra special though to have Noah & Jada there to cheer us on. But, I only had one goal....finish the race & do it within 1 hr & 30 min (i'm a VERY slow runner).

It was very exciting as the rest of the runners gathered and we got in line behind the starting line. The race began and it was time to see what I was made of. I started off the first mile faster than what I usually run so I slowed down alot by mile 2. I had not been running in 5 days so I immediately began to feel like "oh no!" The trail was along the American River and it was nice running through there, the only problem was that there were a few small hills so that slowed me down. I kept wondering how far ahead Rich was of me and kept envisioning the finish line.

I can't really tell you which part of the race was the most difficult because the WHOLE thing was difficult for me. I walked a few times but not much. I wanted to run most of it without having to stop. Once I got to mile 5 I tried to push it harder just to be done but it was tough. Mile 6 finally appeared and I was so relieved, however the race was 6.2 miles...it's amazing how long that .2 felt! I turned the corner & Rich was waiting for me and encouraged me through the end. I could see the finish line and was so excited to almost be done! I finally crossed the finish line at 1 hr 21 min. I finished it within my goal & was so relieved!

I was so proud of Rich who also completed the race in 56 min. He wanted to complete within an hour and he accomplished that. Ryan and most of the other people from the PD also completed the race within 60 min.

Physically I felt sick & wiped out but mentally I was on top of the world! I had set a goal and completed it and felt accomplished!

The week after this race though has not been successful. My knees were so sore for days after and I gave my body the whole week to recover and heal. I wanted to compete in a 5k this coming Sunday but that most likely won't happen. I begin running again tomorrow and will have to start out slower. I'm trying to find a good routine to stick with and do another race in March or April.

Running has been great for me because not only am I seeing the physical benefits but I feel better mentally & I love to be able to put in my ipod & zone out to a good podcast or some great worship music. I know....worship music???? Everyone gives me a hard time, but it's a time for me to connect and be alone and just meditate.

So, tomorrow is a new day and I'm excited to get my running shoes on and see where I'll go!

Homeschooling...

A friend asked several of her friends reasons why we homeschool and here is my spill...


When I had my kids I NEVER envisioned myself homeschooling them. But, giving them a quality Christ-based education was a conviction. My goal would have been to enroll them into a christian school that both my husband & I agreed upon but that didn't happen. Coming into a family where Christian education was very prominent and homeschooling was second nature was very challenging.

When the time did come for our first child to go to school everything came together for homeschooling. God placed me into a family who had the resources, patience & know-how when it came to educating my children. The support system has been a life-line to me & if I did not have them, then I wouldn't be able to do what I do. My sister-in-law has blessed me by coming along side me through the years, especially the earlier years, and showing me how this homeschooling thing works. Thankfully we had kids around the same ages and were able to do preschool & kindergarten together. We taught our kids how to read and that was incredible! It was so special and such a blessing to be there when my children read their first words and first sentences. My mother-in-law has also been with me for the past 2 years assisting me with our oldest sons education. She comes everyday and works with him side by side & helps keep him focused. I know she can't do it forever & it intimidates me to think of how I'm going to do it without her help.

As the kids have grown & more have come along it has created more challenges. I have found that feelings of selfishness & inadequacy are the prominent challenges. Because I do have such a great support system between my sister-in-law & mother-in-law, it often leaves me feeling as if I'll never measure up. They have a God-given ability to 'teach' and be patient where I just don't have it. There are many days that I wonder what in the world am I doing and wish that I could just send them to Christian school. There are days that I just don't want to do it anymore & it hangs over my head until we're done. I wouldn't say that I 'enjoy' homeschooling. I really don't feel like I have what it takes to be this homeschooling mom, but this is the season that God has me in. I have to accept that. God has an amazing way of turning what we think is doom & dread into days of blessings. Everyday I do get to spend quality time with my kids. I'm there when they get a 100% on a difficult test & can rejoice with them over their success. They are learning Biblical foundations, character & life skills that may not get else where. I am learning to be more patient...to take advantage of the resources around me & learn from the women whom I feel have the knowledge & experience that I desire.

I love my kids...I do love being home with them everyday. Do I want a break some of the time? Definetly! But that's where I'm so blessed by my husband. He recognizes the sacrifices I have to make to maintain our home, do dayare, homeschool the kids,serve in our church, plus try to take care of myself. Motherhood is full of days where you feel overwhelmed and inadequate. But I take much comfort in Gal 6:9....'do not grow weary in well doing for in due season you will reap a harvest'. I believe God put that in there just for Moms. I definetly do not have all the answers when it comes to homeschooling. I just know that God has put me in this position for a purpose & as long as I lean on Him, He will be my strength, He will give me the ability, & He will supply knowledge and resources when needed. He is faithful and I look forward to reaping my harvest.

No pain, no gain....what!?

So I've continued with my running and things are going great. I've worked up to running just about 4 miles in about 53 minutes. This has been quite an accomplishment for me especially since I've just been running for almost a month. I'm excited to be running the Superbowl 10K with Rich on Superbowl Sunday which is in just about 10 days. Today I ran the furthest which was 3.91 miles. It felt great when I got home, but now I'm feeling the pain. My knees are killing me everytime I get up to walk around. But what's that phrase....no pain, no gain. How true. It applies to every aspect of our lives.

So many around me are going through painful times. My sister comes to mind. She gave birth in November at 31 weeks. Pregnant with twins, mid-term lost one baby, a little girl, and then just a few short weeks delivered the other twin. A beautiful & precious baby boy. Things seemed well considering his situation but then the unthinkable happened. Complications with a feeding pump caused him to aspirate his food and his glucose levels were off the charts. Thankfully after being transferred to a better hospital he recovered and is now home where he belongs. But, the events of his birth and the loss of the baby girl for my sister are still fresh and painful.

My mind also reminds me of a gentlemen at church with whom I sing worship who has just been diagnosed with cancer. We are all believing and standing in the gap for his healing. But, we are human and the pain that is felt with that diagnosis is so overwhelming.

We always wonder 'why' in moments of pain. I think 'hey, I'm getting fit, I'm taking care of myself....I don't want to be slowed down by this knee pain'. My sister & the gentlemen at church are true servants of Christ. Lives surrended to Him. But what is it all for....no pain, no gain???? What are we gaining by pain & suffering?

Character.....perseverance....faith.....hope....confidence in Christ.....knowing His healing power.....freedom.....total reliance on Jesus Christ

Makes me wonder what kind of people would we be without pain. It's hard to get up and face the day when you're hurting, especially when the pain is still there. But that's where His strength comes in. I know that everyday that I've been running and increasing my distances that I haven't been able to do it on my own. When I begin to run I truly ask God for strength to complete my goal, and you know what? He shows up! I never thought I could do this 2 months ago, but look at me now. My sister never thought she would walk down the road she's on right now. But I know that it is for a purpose & God is going to use her in mighty ways. I'm sure the gentlemen at church never thought he would have the fight that is ahead of him, but he knows and we know that God is in control and will bestow strength to face the days ahead.

Maybe this doesn't make much sense....just some thoughts I'm having.

The Doughnut

Who invented these sweet delicious addicting evil things????? I never buy them but of course with all three kids in the grocery store they convinced me to buy a couple boxes for breakfast in the morning. I thought to myself...'why not, we're going to the snow in the morning, it's going to be a fun day, why not start it off with doughnuts for a change.' So we bought the doughnuts. I thought for sure I would have the will power to avoid the stupid little tasty treats but I failed! 4 itty bitty doughnut holes have 270 calories! I gave in...but I only ate the 4 instead of 8! So, much to the kids' dismay, when they eat those delectable breakfast treats in the morning it could very well be their last for a long time!

I ran 2.8 miles in 40 minutes today! Yay for me! I am proud and hoping that the rain won't be in my way next week as I continue to prepare for the 10k.

By the way....the sinful delights did taste pretty scrumptuous :)